I’ve heard 2 people say now that January went by quickly, and then immediatly regret their statement and say that January took too long, which is true.

I realise that any sort of passion for me always goes in a similar pattern, which is:

1. I put in alot of effort for ~2 weeks, a crazy amount of dedication.

2. I don’t do anything for ~2 weeks because I’m completely exhausted.

3. I go into these on off sessions for ~2 weeks at a time in which I either do nothing, or a normal amount.

And i’m sick of this because I just want to always put in effort, so that I can actually learn something!

(Yes this is obviously about Python, I admit it)

I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about mastering my lifestyle, and I guess it inspired me.

He advised me to spend all my time at school optimally, so that I’ll be able to teach myself something at home.

Although this is bullshit, because if I waste all my energy at school I’ll literally die when I get home.

It’s really infuriating because I really think I want and could do something like learn to play an instrument, but I just don’t know where to start.

And I’d enjoy it too! And it’d greatly improve my life! (socially and mentally)

Now that I’m writing this, maybe a mentor could fix this? I feel kind of bothered asking about it though, it’s a bit of an odd reason after all.

Honestly, I know this is not a respectable thing to say, but sometimes I just wish I had strict parents who’d force me to study all the time and play an instrument or whatever.

I know I’ll be happier thinking back later if I have the most fun possible (which I am right now sort of). But at the same time I really haven’t achieved much.

This is kind of the same riddle as last time isn’t it? I wish I could just take initiatives.

Now for something different

It’s weird how styles change

It can be one day where I genuinely like a song or album, but the other day where I don’t.

This week I’ve been obsessed with Grapes Upon the Vine, I love the choir bitsies.

But sometimes I just can’t listen to it because it sounds so repetitive.

Same with games I guess, but Hitman is just a vicious cycle.

I’ve been trying to stop playing it because I tend to get angry.

I know it could be so enjoyable but the game always punishes me for something I have no control over.

I might still write a review of it in a post though, if i have energy xd.

I’ll try to do things more when I don’t feel like it, and get the conversation started about a mentor, bye!